Hey Charlie - these read very clearly. Just two observations; I don't think the milk should a) be in a glass (because warm milk would be served in a comforting mug) or b) be shown as tipped over at this point, because it alludes to what we're about to be shown, and to be shown it without foreshadowing might prove more shocking. In terms of the last shot, I wonder if a slow tracking shot away from the bed and out of the room might be better, so that the camera draws back to the original position as seen in your first panel - and then suddenly, the door slams violently shut, as if an angry spirit (or bed monster!) has shunted it closed?
Hey Charlie - these read very clearly. Just two observations; I don't think the milk should a) be in a glass (because warm milk would be served in a comforting mug) or b) be shown as tipped over at this point, because it alludes to what we're about to be shown, and to be shown it without foreshadowing might prove more shocking. In terms of the last shot, I wonder if a slow tracking shot away from the bed and out of the room might be better, so that the camera draws back to the original position as seen in your first panel - and then suddenly, the door slams violently shut, as if an angry spirit (or bed monster!) has shunted it closed?
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